The Grit

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We went back to Ian's shortly afterwards, since I'd had my fill of psychobilly by that point and it was really difficult to talk. We watched a Tanzwut DVD (I am nothing if not diverse) then went to bed (separate beds, I hasten to add).


Saturday 29th April 2006

I set off to Camden in search of a new coat, because all of mine make me look rather larger than preferable. Really, I wanted a copy of my first sorely missed leather jacket, but I couldn't find anything like it, and I wandered into a leather shop, where the owner said I could have a lamb leather trenchcoat for £145, even though they cost £299 in winter and £179 the rest of the year. He gave me loads to try on and one of them looked fantastic, so it became mine. I bought various other bumph (why is it so difficult to buy make-up brushes? I couldn't find any in Boots and it took me ages to locate any in Superdrug), then headed for Infernal Damnation festival.

N.B. As ever, this isn't a a "gig review" per se, just my impressions.

Firstly, I'd like to say that I really liked this festival. I was impressed by the lack of line-up changes, the smooth running of it and the sound quality (except for Ancient Rites). Moreover, I thought the choice and overall standard of the bands was excellent. I realise that my enjoyment of the event owes partly to my preference for the styles of music covered: nought but black, death and thrash with a strong brutal-and-melodic bias. Even so, though, the music was, on the whole, tight and involving. It seems a crying shame that the bands aren't better known and had to play in such a tiny venue, especially considering the distances some of them had travelled.

I find it odd that a lot of people won't go and see bands they don't know, especially if they live in London where getting to gigs is fairly trivial. Now that I've seen a lot of bands that play in the UK fairly regularly, I'm not that bothered about seeing them again. Instead, I'd rather check out bands I don't know but have heard good things about. And, with this line-up, there were seven bands I'd never seen before and the other two I'd only seen in Belgium and Norway, respectively. To me, this represented good value for money - much better than repetitively seeing big thrash and death metal bands, especially considering they often have horrible nu metal / metalcore / sub-At The Gates labelmates supporting them.

Decapity from Wales were on first, playing DEATH METAL! The audience was thin on the ground and seemingly unenthused, but for my part, at any rate, this owed more to bewilderment than lack of enjoyment. It was two in the afternoon, I was completely sober, sunlight was pouring in through the open doors, and I was a bit baffled: I'd been to The Purple Turtle once before, but surely it didn't look like this? And they were good - confusingly so for the first band at a lowkey festival playing in a small rarely-used venue. The production on their Myspace tracks is somewhat rough, but I recommend them as a live spectacle.

Decapity. I still hadn't discovered the joys of flash photography.

Ethereal (the UK one) played some pretty cool black metal, which the death of one of their guitars didn't seem to harm. But the performance added an additional dimension. While I have my doubts as to whether making the audience smile was exactly the effect they were after, I couldn't stop giggling at the singer's Cousin It impressions or his wonderfully eeeeevil pronunciations of the song titles. This was by no means a bad thing or that it made their performance any less involving or convincing: it was just unexpectedly fun.

Ethereal. See what I mean?

I found myself taking rather more photos of them than strictly necessary, if you catch my drift. It was only after looking them up online later that I found out why: they're from Liverpool. I realised some time ago I have a Thing about big-booted Scouse men, but I didn't know I was so predictable I could be won over without even hearing the accent. Argh!

Iconoclasm (the Belgian one) were my favourite band of the day, playing continuous brilliant unholie thrashy black metaaaal! I bought one of their CDs afterwards and that's awesome too.

Iconoclasm. Iconoclastic Warfare!

Afterwards, what sounded like an alarm started going off, but as it was far quieter than Iconoclasm I wasn't sure. Nonetheless, we all had to file out onto the street and wait for a bomb squad to investigate! Still, it didn't seem to upset the timing particularly.

The Worms Of Sabnock are a fairly new black metal band. I'd heard one of their songs, "Black Empire" before, which I thought was pretty good; it was better live and they had some other nifty songs, but others I enjoyed less. Also, their corpsepaint was somewhat distracting. One of the guitarists had a bullet hole (or a worm hole?) in his forehead, which is a cool idea, but could have done with more red around it. Worse, the bass player had horns, to start with, but they came off, leaving two bizarre red giant cherries on his forehead.

The Worms Of Sabnock. Since when are waistcoats black metal, anyway? Nah, I jest; if Arcturus can wear dressing gowns and Vintersorg shops at the Norwegian equivalent of Top Man, waistcoats are more than acceptable.

I'd very much enjoyed Demonizer at Inferno Festival and although naturally, I didn't go, "Wow, who are these guys?" this time, their black thrashings didn't disappoint and I got the latest album which I'm digging too.

Demonizer. Thrashing Force...Attack!

I don't remember symphonic black Vesperian Sorrow very well. I was drunk by this point, I'm writing this some days later (I'm seriously taking notes next time), and it was the wrong point in proceedings to have much hope of making a profound impression on me. Nonetheless, I'd thought their Myspace tracks were a bit boring, but live they were much heavier and more enjoyable. And, if I'm remembering the right band, they didn't play for very long and I could have quite happily had more.

Vesperian Sorrow. Not every band can produce a visible forcefield around their instruments, you know.

I'd wondered why the relatively local Desolation were playing above Vesperian Sorrow, who'd come all the way from freaking Texas, but their set provided an answer. They were arguably one of the softer bands of the day, but that's neither saying much nor an insult. There was a fair bit of variety between songs and although one song reminded me of Arch Enemy (woohoo!), I found the others were less easy to place both in terms of subgenre or influences. Primarily, they were melodic death metal, but it wasn't that simple. They only lose points because I saw their Myspace profile later that night and their top 8 is full of h0t b4bez. Either they have a lot of girlfriends between them or they read the wrong manual on "how to prove you kick ass via your top 8". The h0t b4bez method is for desperate men; metal bands, your aim is to get Varg Vikernes to add you. Got it?

Desolation. The bright sun had indeed extinguished by this stage.

Curly-haired Spanish death metallers Avulsed were next and proved to be one of the highlights of my day. I hadn't thought much of the tracks on their Myspace account, but listening to them again now, I think it's the position of the the vocals in mix that didn't sit so well with me, because otherwise they're rather excellent. Anyway, live they were amazing. Their set was long and meaty and I'd definitely go and see them again.

Avulsed. Sorry I couldn't get any closer, the moshpit was scary and full of people in much cooler t-shirts than me.

And finally, there were Ancient Rites, purveyors of marvellous black / Viking / heavy metal and the reason I'd travelled all this way in a month in which I'd already done far more travel than was remotely sensible. I'd seen them once before at Eurorock festival in 2002, but that was the first famous extreme metal performance I'd ever attended (I'd seen a few Kent-based death and grind bands which I hadn't enjoyed) and, much as I liked their recordings, live, all the gorgeous intricacies of their songs were lost to noise. I decided that extreme metal just didn't translate well to stage, a conclusion supported by my non-enjoyment the other extreme bands I saw that weekend (Dragonlord and Behemoth). However, I wasn't especially into extreme metal back then, and when I decided to brave seeing Arch Enemy live a year and a half later, I had a great time, and went on to attend and enjoy many many more extreme gigs, including a Behemoth performance which was MINT! Thus, I thought that I just hadn't been ready for Ancient Rites live in 2002, and now I most certainly was.

But hmmmm. They took their time coming on and then only played what I counted as nine songs (and one of them was short and background music anyway). They played a few tracks off their as-yet-unreleased album, but I'm not yet wholly convinced they're up to their usual impeccable standard. And the sound was awful, which is annoying as it had seemed good for the rest of the day. On the one hand, the vocals were much more audible than usual, but I was reduced to watching some of the guitar solos as I couldn't make them out. I decided I was going to go mental regardless, and happily tried out my left-handed air-guitaring sk1llz and enough of the crowd was with me in showing enthusiasm. But despite our shouts for 'Fatherland' and the band's obvious intention of playing it, they got ushered off the stage before they could. I know most of these issues weren't the band's fault, but MEH!

Ancient Rites. Guiding the way down the left hand path.

MORE PHOTOS OF ALL THE BANDS ARE HERE.

The day was fun in other regards too. To start with, I was feeling ridiculously shy. I saw was a guy on his own wearing an Inferno festival wristband who I could have very easily struck up a conversation with, but noooo. However, I chatted to some girls in the toilets and familiar faces began to emerge. I chatted a lot to Graham and a very drunk Juliet (Mr and Mrs blackmetal.co.uk) and saw Mick, Cliff, Izzy and a guy I met on a train after a gig once, who we deduced was on blackmetal.co.uk (since his tattoo matched his avatar). Also! Victoria, a livejournal friend who I haven't met in person before and didn't know was going to be going to this gig, came over, and introduced me to her boyfriend Ian and friends. At the end of the night, I finally managed to hunt down Issue #2 of Crypt Magazine and finally got to meet Dayal (Mr Crypt). I've waxed lyrical about the merits of Issue #1 here; suffice to say, Issue #2 is even better: highly readable, very interesting, thought-provoking and at times hysterical. (And I'm mentioned in it.)

Afterwards, I went to the London Stone, where there was a free goth and metal night going on til 4. Various other gig-attendees came along and I ran into other acquaintances and randoms. The music was a bit predictable, but much of the night was spent sitting with Victoria, her Ian and their friends, saying "Cheers!" repetitively, mostly at Ian's urgings. After a while, Ian asked if me and their friend Alan wanted to go back to theirs. Well, why not?

Alan. Metaaaal!

Getting a taxi was something of a mission, mostly because we kept hailing every car whether it was a taxi or not, and since none of us could walk in a straight line, what bona fide taxi drivers we did see were right to ignore us. Finally, we got in a car which didn't look even remotely taxi-like from the outside, but it had a magic GPS thingy inside and got us near enough to our destination, even if it did cost a fortune. The rest of the walk was equally amusing: I have a photo of Victoria sitting dazedly in a lost shopping trolley and Ian urinating, but I'll spare everyone.

I'm not sure quite what happened to the next few hours. Certainly, there was a lot of arguing about music (Alan doesn't like Turisas! Infidel!), Victoria spent half an hour trying to open a bottle and Ian and Alan spent a similar amount of time trying to locate a phone they hadn't lost. I passed out at about 6.30 and then next thing I knew, Ian was telling me I had to get going because they had real life to contend with. All very cool and random.


Sunday 30th April 2006

I headed to Starbucks in Islington to see if I could find any straggling Slimelighters to talk to, but failed. I read a bit, then headed for Oxford Street in the hope of sitting in the Borders there, since it was a bit warmer and more homely (well, I do seem to spend a significant proportion of my time there). Sadly, it was closed, and the other cafés I could find were full. By this point it was 11, which I thought was a reasonable hour, so I phoned Ian (erming) (sadly still waking him up) asking if I could go round and collect my stuff, as I'd been planning to stay at his that night, but Mick had said I should go back to the London Stone and could crash at his afterwards.

I went there (after a fashion - I got off at the wrong tube station and it took me a while to work out why I couldn't orientate myself) and chatted to Ian and his Mum for a while. Then it was time for Elektrofest, a one-day goth festival.

Trauma Pet were on first, with their ultra-feminine butter-wouldn't-melt tinklings. Which isn't to say they don't rock: having obtained a guitarist, they do, just in a rather refined manner. Normally, this wouldn't be my sort of thing, but they do it so well and the lead singer does such a good job of looking and acting the part that I approve. The bassist hadn't been able to make it, which was a shame, because they didn't look right without her and she's also a very good performer. (I saw them at this event last year.) Also, they proved quite a subdued start to proceedings.

Then it was Goteki's last ever performance, which was a bit of an odd spectacle - the vocalist seemed somewhat baffled and upset on realising he was playing his songs for the last time. I was surprised how serious a lot of the songs were, actually; I remember them being a lot bouncier at Eurorock (yep, the same place I saw Ancient Rites) and supporting Icon Of Coil. I must admit, while I've liked them in the past, I didn't enjoy this particular occasion, and I'm a firm believer that the crowd reaction is a contributing factor to the quality of a performance. I'd expected a big silly cyber crowd, but instead the small crowd consisted of clapped-out goths and the most 'normal' people I've ever seen at a goth gig. Don't get me wrong - it's cool that normal people have started to enjoy and support goth music - but at this point, they didn't seem any more enthusiastic than the Slimed-out ones did.

Suzerain had a gothy sound and were quite good. They received the most enthusiastic response of the day, but were still, to my mind, slightly dull. They had a left-handed bass player though - clearly a weekend for left-handed musicians!

Misty & The GDM didn't play, which took us on to Greenhaus. Despite the fact that Greenhaus play all the flipping time, I haven't been to many goth gigs in London since 2002, so hadn't seen them since then. Their quality seems to vary: the first two times I saw them, I wasn't very impressed, but the third time their performance was thoroughly intense and totally captivating. This one, not so much; some songs were pretty good, some were ridiculously boring. Anyway, they seem to have had a few line-up changes since then, and the new female vocalist gets kudos for her enthusiasm.

At this point, I was on the verge of cutting my losses and going to the pub. I was absolutely exhausted and my feet were killing me, meaning I spent the time between bands sitting on the floor, not talking to anyone. I kept dozing off and seeing people that weren't really there. However, I decided to go ahead with my "get drunk before Iris come on" plan, and I'm glad I did, because it was at this point Tik & Tok appeared.

I've watched roughly four hundred bands in my lifetime and theirs was by far the most surreal performance I've ever seen.

After some enjoyable electronic music, two figures came onto the stage, clad in floor-length black coats and ghastly grinning bald monkey-eared rubber masks. They then proceeded to perform a dance routine, moving in a jerky fashion but with a terrifying super-charged emotional energy between them. The sparse crowd swelled and the cameras came out.

The track ended and they removed their masks and coats, only to reveal that what they were wearing underneath was only marginally less sinister - plain black suits and "tidy" corpsepaint. They both sung a nifty Numan-esque song with one repeated line, which I can't remember, but it was something to the effect of "We're leaving now". Then, good as their word, they threw a bunch of fliers at the audience and walked off. Naturally I could have quite happily seen more, but I was deeply impressed.

This was the start of a spate of cool bands. The Modern brought further 80sness and featured a Deborah Harry-like frontwoman in a mini-dress. Client were good too: sleazy sounds from three women in leather dresses.

Iris, not so. Prior to hearing them, I'd gathered they were very cheesy effeminate EBM, so I didn't think they were going to be my thing. They weren't my thing at Infest last year and I didn't expect to like them any better this time unless I got really drunk first. Since I wasn't very drunk by this stage, I didn't enjoy them and went to the bar after a few songs.

However!

While I was standing at the back, sipping my drink, divine inspiration hit me with regard to what I should call my band. This is a question I have struggled for years trying to find the answer to, but it has been worth the wait, and everyone I've mentioned it to so far agree on its quality. I was really scared someone would have snapped it or something similar up already, but when I got home and went online, it was not so, and googling for it only gives 37 results. (One of them is someone saying it would make a cool band name, though.) Naturally, I'm too paranoid to mention it here until I've registered it, but I'll get on it. I also had lots of new song ideas, so w00t! Thanks Iris! Next step: learn to play something. (Me, that is; Iris's musical ability, at any rate, was satisfactory.)

[:SITD:] are EBMy too, but of a much harder colder variety, and were really good and energetic and danceable to start with. Sadly, they went a bit stale as the performance progressed, or I sobered up, or something.

I didn't know headliners De/Vision beforehand. First they were surprisingly rocking in both senses of the word. Then they were boring. Then they were ok. Then they were boring again. I decided I'd seen enough after about seven songs and left.

All in all, it wasn't the gig ever, but there was enough goodness that I got my money's worth. Sadly, I didn't get any photos, since I wasn't sure whether flash photography was allowed and non-flash photography was doing beep all.

I headed to a pub called Quinn's, to meet Ian (erming) and his friends. My fiend Glenn turned up after a while, which was cool. Then I headed back to The London Stone, since there was a long, free metal night happening there and various fiends were going to be present. Gary was DJing and played a lot of cheesy metal and classic rock and refused me and Cliff's requests for anything more extreme, but we compromised on Slayer, and I had a lot of fun dancing anyway. For the most part it was a good night; sadly, something rather bad happened. I've learnt from the experience but nonetheless it contributed to feelings of gloom that would pervade the next two days. Fortunately, late on Tuesday evening, I had a revelation, which has cheered me up again.

In general, a fine weekend.