Argh!

That key! You know the one I mean. The one above TAB. The one with THREE symbols on it. Tonight, it occurred to me that they are all completely useless.

First, there's `. What's the use in ` when you've already got the noble '? (By the way: Dutch is evil. The correct way to make nouns ending in vowels plural is to add "'s" to them. ARGH!!!!!)

Then there's ¬. If memory serves me correctly, this is a logical operator for NOT, but both ! and ~ are used to mean this in programming, so why ¬ as well? Wouldn't it be better to devote a key to something more original in meaning? I personally think there should be a logical operator for "it is and it isn't" which be a horizontal line that wobbled see-saw-like.

And finally, there's ¦ (which you need to press "Alt Gr" to produce). Why? Delighted as I am by the existence of something called "the pipe command", why do you need a split pipe when you've already got a whole one, |? Was the person who designed keyboards a skater that liked to have two half-pipes produced with the touch of a key? If not, why a split pipe? Does this have any meaning in terms of mathematics? Did they add a randomly designed key to a computer, simply to do computery things? What a dreadful thought!

I shall never sleep again!

Reading "Battle Royale" probably isn't helping though.

Why did Soppygit and Ibid have to send off my 600+-page-long Christmas presents so they arrived at home on 8th December, thus confusing me sufficiently to instruct my mother to send them to me? I knew Soppygit to be posting hers on 6th December, but I wouldn't have thought she'd send it first class! Whyyyy??? I have an exam on Monday and as if Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday hadn't already gone to pot as far as revision went, thanks to staying up til 6.20am on Monday morning finishing the assignments of duuuume, filming, and Making A Major Decision Which Would Have Been Depressing Enough Had It Not Been During 1) The Bleak Midwinter And 2) A Time Of Tension Of The Monthly Sort, But I Recovered After About A Day, today has been lost entirely to Japanese pulp fiction.


Friday 12 December 2003

Dear Duran Duran,

Despite being somewhat embarrassed to admit to liking you now among all my cool goth and metalhead friends, you brought me much yoj in my teenage years and I intend pay homage to your greatness through My Art when I have time. Therefore, I would very much like to see you, but am not prepared to pay more than £25 for a decent seat I will occupy for only three hours. Hurry up and start playing in pubs in the back of beyond like all respectable acts of your era, all right? And if you ever run into The Cure, Siouxsie And The Banshees and Blondie, could you pass the message on? Ta Kenneths,

Z

Speaking of B movies, in happier news, I discovered that Akercocke are supporting Arch Enemy in Leeds on 17 December. Not only have I heard of them, but as far as I can gather from the MP3s at their website, it sounds like their lead singer played the title role in "Indiana Smith And The Toilet Of Doom!", "Satan Made Porcelain DCLXVI" and "Bloodtoilet: Neighbour Of Bloodbath". Which is always good.

In unhappier news, I still don't have my ticket yet. Apparently it's a "souvenir edition", so I'm sure it'll be v. pretty, but I still don't want to receive it after the event!

In totally weird news, Bryn wrote me slash about himself and Nicky Wire.


Saturday 13 Decemember 2003

How do I keep missing The Levellers?

They played in Carlisle when I was living there, and admittedly, that was my fault, since I was going through one of those trendy phases that unavoidably occur when you go to a school where any opinions not shared by the masses are strictly taboo. But then they played in Folkestone, while I was living in the not-too-distant Canterbury, and I was none the wiser until afterwards.

And then, last Saturday, when the bus taking me to the station passed York's premier venue (not that that's saying much), I noticed that The Levellers were playing there soon. I resolved to find out when. Then, last night, I walked past it again on my way back from Darklands (a goth night, which wasn't especially good despite being fantastic in October, but the band that played, 616 Abortions, were q. good and I bought a funchie Darklands t-shirt for £6), and said, "Gah. I was meant to be checking when The Levellers were playing, but I bet I've missed them now."

This morning, I checked online. Sure enough, they played last night.

This is fast becoming annoying. The night I saw Iron Maiden, there were three other bands I'd have liked to see playing in Sheffield alone. And tonight, I said I'd go to a goth night, only to discover two punk bands I'd like to see are playing in York. I need a time machine.