Since I have an exam tomorrow, rather than study, I finally got round to writing an account of my trip to Slovenia (and Croatia, Italy and Styal) which I took in September, with my family. In question-and-answer format:

Styal?
Yes. We arrived Manchester Airport two hours before check-in time, so we went to the nearby town of Styal, to look at its old mill. Its natives are clearly as delighted with the punning possibilities as we were - "Dine in Styal" an advertisement read. Still, I thought having "S7YAL" as a number plate was perhaps going a smidgen too far.

What is it like flying on September 10th?
Annoying. The flight was delayed by four hours, due to a bomb scare at Gatwick Airport, and since we'd surrendered the car keys to a parking attendant, we couldn't kill the time by going anywhere. So I sat in the waiting room, read Mary Bell's biography, and discovered she was incarcerated in Styal, a place I'd never heard of until that day.

What sort of people go to Slovenia?
Middle-aged people who wear beige. We were about the youngest-looking people on the flight and my Dad's sixty.

What's it like in Slovenia?
Like Austria, only without all of Austria's aggressive Austrianness. The tiny smidgen of coast has a much more Meditterranean look and feel though. Also, just like in Austria, you get sudden torrential downpours lasting for several hours.

Does it look like what you would expect a former part of Yugoslavia to look like? You know, all Communist and stuff?
No. It looked just like western Europe, except for a couple of cast-iron statues of famous shot putters. (Ok, perhaps they weren't famous shot putters, but they looked like them.) It was therefore v. bizarre to go into the mercury museum (heavy metal, man!) and discover a seven-foot-high foot-wide-metal hammer'n'sickle suspended from the ceiling. The museum (which was not, by design, totally random, since it was in a former mercury-mining town) did contain an inordinate of photos of PE lessons given at the local school in the early twentieth century, not to mention a 1930s "British Book Of Birds".

Do they like metal there?
Seemingly, despite the total lack of metalheads in evidence. Beside Lake Bled there is some staggered seating, which has "HEAVY DEATH METAL RULS" grafittied onto it. I also saw random road signs with "Agrometal", "Metalgraf" (a subgenre of "mathcore" I wonder?) and "Emok" on them.

How many lakes are there?
Four. We walked round three of them. Tip: do not walk round Lake Bohinj, especially if you are wearing New Rock boots. It is about five times bigger than it looks.

Are there chavs in Slovenia?
Sadly, yes. And chavs you can't understand are even scarier than ones you can (vaguely, anyway).

Are people in Slovenia mad?
Yes. One night at 10pm, we were walking around the town where we stayed, when we chanced upon an estate agent's. My parents love to look at house prices, so they did just that. A man came up to us and said, in German, that it was cheaper to live in the countryside than by the lake. I know this is exactly the sort of thing German text books teach you how to say, but seemingly people actually use these pointless phrases! Another day, on top of Llubljana Castle, a man clapped his hands, and everyone turned to him, thinking he was an official person telling us to beep off down the double-helix staircases because the film was about to start. Instead he said, "Ladies and gentleman, can anyone give me the gift of fire, for light cigarette?"

Is it worth watching the film in Ljubljana Castle?
Yes, because it zooms around a 3D-modelling of Llubljana. As for what's said in it, though, that's certainly good for comedy value. The foundation of the 2nd Women's Monday Coffee Morning Society gets mentioned, whereas the Gulf War and its aftermath gets summed up as, "There was big conflict."

What do the dustbins look like?
In Bled, they look like frogs. In a neighbouring town (Kranj, I think) they look like random red creatures.

What is weird about Slovenia!
You have to keep your car headlights on all the time.

What's terrible about Slovenia?
They don't sell the best thing ever - sliced bread! The nearest equivalent is "toast" which looks and tastes like pieces of cardboard.

What's cool about Slovenia?
The oldest musical instrument in the world was found there!

What is Croatia like?
The bit we went to (the coastal bit) was pretty! It wasn't unlike Slovenia, but the roads were more worn and the traffic lights didn't work. By the way, Crovenia (or Slovatia, the bit that seems to be neither Slovenia nor Croatia) exists and is quite large! Strangely enough, since I fast ran out of reading material, I read Kerrap and Metal Hammer'n'Sickle (as bought by Noj) which included a huge article about Placebo playing in Croatia, since they're one of the first rock bands to ever play there. Strange, because, you know, you don't usually hear much about Croatia in metal magazines.

Which bit of Italy did you go to?
The bit in the very north east tip, solely so we could say we'd been to Italy. Dad and myself wanted to go to Austria and Hungary for similar reasons, but Noj protested.

Why did you go to Slovenia?
Why not?