Today's lecture notes were ever so disturbing. We're learning about genetic algorithms, in which, in order to get a new generation of solutions, you have to crossbreed two old solutions. To illustrate this, my lecturer has included some clipart. One picture shows a bee Hovering With Intent over two chicks, and the other shows an evil-looking bird Zooming With Intent towards a dopey-looking bee. The "birds and bees" reference isn't lost on me, but eep! Dirty old bees! Rapists who are birds! And all in the name of producing a . . . beerd. ARGH!


Thursday 18 March

The muggy weather left me feeling like poo last night, so I went to bed at 10. Outside, birds and students alike were going insane, so it took me a while to get to sleep, and when I did I had one of THOSE dreams. You know, those dodgy-but-really-nice ones about someone you like but decidedly don't fancy, and see every day? Yeah.

I woke paralysed by even more fear and depression than usual (not over the dream, over the Ton Of Work I have to complete in less than six weeks), but finally managed to drag myself up at 6.47 (which wasn't especially early, considering my bedtime and how light it was outside).

But I proceeded to have the most amazing of days! By 10, I'd made the first Great Discovery in our group project project in the fourteen weeks we've been working on it and sent loads of administrative e-mail. I impressed my project supervisor and listened intently to all four hours of my lectures, even the three in a row. I chatted and joked easily and profusely with my classmates and lecturers, rather than resenting every moment I had to spend not playing Interactive Fiction.

My lectures just get sillier and sillier, despite remaining as morbid as ever. Today, said lecturer asked, "Supposing there was loads of grass and the tiniest fraction of a sheep in this classroom - would you expect it to multiply - er, asexually?" (And he expected us to say yes!) He later presented two scenarios: firstly, that locusts are superglued to the ground, while a bushfire rages, and secondly, that while locusts are running from the fire, they generate enough sweat to be able to stop running, not be consumed by it, and form a fire-break.

I partly attribute my good mood to end-of-term silliness, but maybe there's some truth in "early to bed, early to rise makes a girl healthy and wealthy and wise"?

Well, maybe not the healthy part. Despite my diet becoming slightly healthier of late, my complexion hath broken out in Evil Spots. Am I not to old for this? Actually, this is probably due to giving up the pill recently, in accordance with the life of celibacy that doubtless lies ahead of me. But my complexion was better when I was fifteen and equally celibate. Huh.

Also, maybe not the wealthy part either. I bought a second-hand laptop (for Australia-going purposes) yesterday, so, although I'm due to receive roughly £3100 in the next two weeks (grant, wages, plane-ticket- and insurance- reimbursement, and transferred savings, I currently have approximately £5 in the world. (Well, approximately -£1495 in the world to be more accurate, but, you know, details.)

But oh yes. Evil work is no match for my superpowers! Although discovering we get to choose when one of our exams is held has undoubtedly helped relieve the stress a bit too.


Later

Gah. Maybe this isn't such a good day after all. I've just managed to smash my last remaining plate. Why don't kitchens have softer floors and worktops? Why are plates so brittle? It's not right.


24 March 2004

I love Genetic Algorithms. Who would have thought it'd be all about the behaviour of chavs? Yet today's lecture notes included the sentence, "Two individuals are picked at random with uniform probability and the most fit individual is selected to be a parent."

Last night's dream: I went into WH Smith and found a new Babysitters Club book called "The Babysitters Club And Black Metal", in which the club take one of the members' cousins to a Dimmu Borgir concert!


Monday 29 March 2004

Normally, I am filled with sweetness and light, but today I hate:

- Chapman and Kolmogorov for inventing senseless equations.
- Whoever decided I needed to learn Stochastic Processes again.
- Jon Pitchfork (ok, he's not actually called that, and he's normally very nice, but still!) and unspellable lecturer for deciding give me at least three entirely nonsensical and unrelated versions of aforementioned equations.
- Gnomes, who stole my numerous sets of beautiful and incredibly enlightening notes I made on said equations this time last year that earned me 96% in the exam.
- Myself. You would have thought after twelve years of exam-taking, I'd know to store things in my long-term memory and start revising more than a day before an exam. But nooooooo.