In the last few months, I've become quite adept at sofa-surfing. Obviously, in order to be a True sofa-surfer, you need to do it:

a) For at least three weeks (impossible because I have a job)
b) Because you have no other option (impossible because I have a home) and
c) Without spending any money (much easier if you have many friends living in a small area, and nothing better to do than find receptions to get free food from, which I don't)

However, after an inauspicious start to the year, sleeping in only one place every night of the first four months, and adding an unimpressive three resting places to this count in the next four, the following week took the total up to a massive eight, and in the following months, it's risen to seventeen. Between 1st October and 19th December, I spent only 65% of my nights in my own bed / in my home county, despite having a full-time job that features no travelling. Better yet, no acts of dodginess were committed in order to achieve this feat, and bonus points must also be awarded for spending two nights this year hallucinating on planes, two nights hallucinating in Slimelight, and two nights of having no choice but to not sleep at all.

This has been sufficient time for me to develop my own set of Principles Of Sofa-Surfing:

1. Travel light. Carry only one (student-style) backpack if you're going for less than ten days, and only bring a sleeping bag if you're absolutely certain you're going to need one, and its company won't annoy you. If you get stuck without, a trenchcoat works brilliantly. In order to achieve this, carry no books (magazines are less bulky), no food, no towel, no shampoo/conditioner/shower gel and no toothpaste. Your host will have all of these, or grovel for mercy if they don't, and it is their responsibility to provide them, in return for the pleasure of your company.

2. Always ask your host how their shower works before attempting to use it. All showers are different and every shower sucks. (Ok, my parents' is simple and great, unless you prefer a mere trickle of water (as ibid does), and barakta and kimble's has both a temperature knob that shows you actual temperatures rather than meaningless red lines, and a "volume control". But they're not to be trusted in general.)

3. Never ever try to fold up a sofa bed on your own. Likewise, all sofa beds are different, and every one sucks. You will drop it on your foot, and not be able to use it either as a sofa or a bed (unless you feel like sleeping on a load of springs) until your host comes to the rescue.

4. If possible, read the first few chapters of one of your host's books, before they wake up. You will spend the rest of your life desperate to know what happened next, but unable to remember the book's title, but a life without mysteries is a life not worth living.